Remember to Feel Real
by EllieEqualsEloquent
Summary: A series of one-shots centered around the lives of Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Anberlin Hawthorne based on whatever song was playing on my iPod. Rated T for later chapters.


A/N: So, while I was writing my other fanfic "Nothing Left of You" I came up with this crazy idea to make a mixed CD and write a fic with each chapter based on a song on the CD… Well that didn't happen. Instead I turned my iPod on shuffle and wrote the first in a series of one-shots while listening to song number one. I dunno… It makes more sense in my head.

Summary: A series on one-shots centered around the lives of Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Anberlin Hawthorne.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter series or the song "Breathless". J.K. owns Harry Potter and the oh-so awesome Aiden owns the song. All I own is the CD that "Breathless" is on. Oh, and the title of this fanfic is the name of a song by Armor For Sleep.

**I**

**Breathless - Aiden**

Voldemort was dead, wizards and witches around the world were celebrating but Remus Lupin couldn't even fake a smile. Three of the closest friends he had ever had were dead. At the hands of the only friend he had left, no less. Friend? Remus laughed bitterly. It didn't sound at all like him. Sirius was no longer a friend to Remus. Given the chance the man probably would've had him killed as well. No, as much as he wanted to Remus just couldn't bring himself to hate Sirius Black. He hated Voldemort, he hated himself for not offering to be the Potter's secret keeper but he couldn't hate the only other Marauder that had survived the war. He couldn't make himself admit that he was truly alone in a world where people hated his kind.

Alone, alone in a sea of familiar faces. That was the best way Remus could think of to describe the scene at Lily and James' funeral. Remus looked through the sea of faces for one more familiar than the rest, but his search was to no avail. Young Harry wasn't present at his own parents' funeral. No surprise there, Remus thought. He'd heard that Harry had been sent to live with Lily's sister and from what Remus had heard the Dursley's would go to great lengths to keep away from the magical world.

"Remus," a voice caught Remus' attention. He turned to find a girl he knew only too well. Her name was Berlin, it was short for Anberlin, and she was two years his junior. Even though she'd been placed in Ravenclaw, Berlin still found herself drawn to the Marauders. If she'd been in Gryffindor and two years older she might have been one of them. Regardless of the differences between them she got along brilliantly with all of the Marauders. James even thought of her has his little sister which explained why Sirius never made any attempt to date her as he would have done with any other girl.

A ghost of a smile graced Remus' lips upon seeing her. It truly astounded him how she was able to look amazing even at a funeral. Berlin had a fondness for the darker side of fashion and she was always a sight to see at any occasion. She had toned it down, of course, for the funeral but it was still more than what anyone else thought of as appropriate.

The corset that Berlin wore was black and covered with several oddly placed and unnecessary zippers. With the corset Berlin wore a deep, dark purple tulle skirt layered over opaque black tights. Her shoes were dark purple ballet flats that laced up to just below her knees and on her arms she wore black and purple striped arm warmers. The arm warmers were obviously too long as they bunched around Berlin's hands. She looked like a gothic ballerina.

Berlin began to fidget under Remus' gaze. The first thing she did was push a lock of hair behind her ear. Playing with her hair was a nervous habit of Berlin's. It wasn't the most practical one at the moment considering that most of her jet black hair had been twisted up into a fancy bun. The lock that was left down was a bright auburn color.

"For Lily," Berlin explained when she caught Remus looking at her hair.

"I heard you left the country," Remus said quietly.

"I did," was Berlin's response, "I went to America. I have a cousin living in California, you know."

"I remember," Remus said, "She runs some kind of shop doesn't she?"

Berlin nodded. "She has a used muggle book store in L.A." she said, "She doesn't have the faintest idea as to what she's doing though. I'll be helping her get things in order soon."

Remus raised and eyebrow at the thought of Berlin working in a used book store. A _muggle_ used book store, none the less. "I can't picture you slaving away in some book store," he said.

"Remus, my dear, you seem to be forgetting that before I devoted my life to fashion, I was a Ravenclaw who had devoted her life to books," Berlin said in a mock scolding tone.

"How ever did you get from a studious young Ravenclaw to a… a gothic ballerina?"

"I met James," Berlin said softly as if it were the most obvious and well known fact in the world.

"Sirius too," Remus added. A silence fell between Remus and Berlin for their lost friends.

"I'll miss them," Berlin admitted sadly, "I'll even miss Sirius… The Sirius I knew, I mean." Tears formed in Berlin's silver eyes. No, they were the same violet color as her skirt. Berlin's eyes often changed color with her outfits. Years ago she'd created a spell that would color her eyes any way she imagined. Remus couldn't help but to laugh when she first told him about the spell. Leave it to a fashion obsessed Ravenclaw to create an eye color changing spell. Regardless of the color of her eyes, Berlin brushed the tears away being careful not to smudge her dark make-up.

"So, when are you going back to America?" Remus asked desperate for a change of topic. There would be plenty of time for tears later.

"I'm going to stop by the Dursley's to say good-bye to Harry after I'm finished here," Berlin said, "Then I'll be off."

"You'll visit often, I hope?"

"Of course," Berlin said. She smiled but it was nothing compared to her usual smiles. "You couldn't keep me away with all the spells in the world."

Before Remus could respond Albus Dumbledore approached him and Berlin. "Lupin, Miss Hawthorne," he began, "I hate to interrupt but the service is about to begin."

"Come on," Berlin said taking Remus' hand in hers, "Let's sit down."

I should really stop writing/posting these in the middle of the night. I should, but I won't.

So, what do y'all think? Does it suck? Should I write more? Do you want Berlin's outfit as much as I do? I swear, once I'm decent at sewing I'm going to make her outfit.

Okay, I'm going to shut up now and let you get on with your lives.

P.S. – Bonus points for anyone that gets Berlin's name.


End file.
